Trevor Lawrence: Raising Young Men

Google “nation’s number 1 high school quarterback” and of the 10 articles on the first page, Trevor Lawrence is mentioned in 8 and is listed as the “nation’s #1 quarterback” in 7. USA Today HS Sports noted that, “Lawrence threw for 3,904 yards and 51 touchdowns last season, leading Cartersville to a 15-0 record and a GHSA Class 4A state championship.” And Nick Saban’s helicopter landing on the football field of Cartersville High School seals his hometown hero status for sure! (I feel the need to add a Roll Tide right here.) His impressive athletic prowess is evident, so I’ll stop there.

And as impressive as his stats are, they aren’t why you’re reading about him right now.

While I do not know Trevor Lawrence, I know several of his high school peers, teachers, teammates, & friends; I have not heard the first negative word about Trevor. Not a word of jealousy or slight, nothing. They all, everyone of them, talk about what a great guy he is, what an inspiration and an example, how good he makes people feel, & how well he handles all of the “fame”. Here’s a sample of what I’ve been hearing:

 

“His focus isn’t just football, it carries into the classroom.” – Tristan Carlton (team mate)

 

“He really knows how to humble himself, he’s earned the right to act however he wants really, but he doesn’t. He is one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.” –Carson Murray (team mate)

“Trevor has a drive to grow into not only the best football player he can be, but the best person he can be.” – Parker Helms (Cartersville High School student)

 

“Trevor is a genuinely kind young man. He is never too busy to talk to or take pictures with students and teachers alike. He wants to be the normal teenager, and because of that, he tries to deflect the attention. He is even reluctant to stand on stage by himself to receive a personal award. Most teenage boys that get that type of notoriety let it go to their head…not Trevor. He is extremely competitive, but even though he is immensely talented, he really understands that football is a team sport.” – Chad Murray (soccer coach and teacher at Cartersville High School)
This humility & kindness that is mentioned every time I hear his name is what led me to try to learn more about THE Trevor Lawrence. Thanks to a very kind friend, and because Mrs. Lawrence is a jewel herself, I was able to glean some of what makes Trevor such an incredible young man.

Q: Many of my readers may not be incredibly familiar with the magnitude of Trevor’s achievements. Could you briefly share a little of that and some of the awards and titles he has received?

Mrs. Lawrence: I’m going to go to his room, because I don’t really remember.

Gatorade Player of the Year

High 5 Sports

Elite Stone Player of the Year

MVP All region 3 times

MVP All State 3 times

His team has won 2 State Championships

Nike Elite 11

All State Quarterback Award

2015 Offensive Player of the Year

2016 Player of the Year

Regional Player of the year (all three years in high school)

Sports Zone Play

2016 High School Football Athlete of the Year

#1 Quarterback in the nation in most ranking sites, ESPN has him at #3.

 

Q: Tell me a little about what this journey with Trevor has been like and what is going on in the Lawrence world right now.

Mrs. Lawrence: It’s been crazy, especially the past year or so. Football is continuous it seems like. There are a lot of events and camps and invitations and things like that. With Trevor’s notoriety it can get kind of hectic. If he is out, people come up to him, even in other states. And people have tweeted about “sightings”.

Q: When did you recognize, “hey, this kid is more than good. He’s really got something going on.”?

Mrs. Lawrence: I don’t think we ever really did. We always knew he was very athleticly gifted. God really gifted him in that way. When he was probably 9 or 10 we noticed he was above his peer level at that time. But always as a parent you question your bias.

 

Q: …what I am most intrigued by is WHO Trevor Lawrence is…most of the dialogue I am hearing is not about football. That is impressive, especially coming from his peers. Young men like the one I keep hearing about are rare, and on top of that you have the added challenge of immense small town fame with state and national recognition. As a mom of 2 young boys, I am interested in knowing how you raised such a clean nosed, kind, humble, and others minded young man.

Mrs. Lawrence: Part of it is simply his personality. We have really prayed and tried our best to stress the importance of God being #1 in his life. It’s difficult because we mess up sometimes, but we try to teach him integrity. What is modeled by you? Are you honest? Do you try to do the best by other people?

We try our best to teach him the Bible is your guide and there WILL be hard times. Just as sure as you’re on top you can be on bottom.

Football won’t last forever; and when that’s gone, who are you? Don’t let it become your identity.

He knows that life is full of ups and downs and learning. They’re going to make mistakes. [We try to teach] the difference in life changing mistakes (DUI’s for example) vs. learning mistakes.

We do stress that his talent is unusual. God gave it. Use it for good.

Q: Young men, some of which have already signed scholarships with D1 schools, making poor decisions in the face of such attention is a common headline. How have you guys guided him through the pitfalls that can come with all of the attention he is receiving?

Mrs. Lawrence: Even if people aren’t watching, I don’t want him to make that type of mistake. As parents, we work to know who his friends are, where he is, holding him accountable. We use headlines as lessons. It’s important that they understand that what you are doing may be innocent, but wrong people/wrong place can land you in a situation you can’t get out of.

Social media…always monitor social media…we try to help him understand the magnitude of what we say and the MANY ways it can be taken.

We try not to put information about him in front of him. It is distracting. My husband monitors it for us, because it can get hard for me too. (laughs) It is amazing at how petty it gets.

Q: To moms of young boys, what advice can you give?

Mrs. Lawrence: It is SO difficult. There is so much evil and bad stuff in the world. It is hard to shelter them from everything. Pray. A lot of prayer. And seek a lot of guidance from God. Teach them scripture. [It can be their compass and guide them when we cannot.] Find godly men to speak into their lives and be examples for them.

Trevor Lawrence is an incredible athlete, and while that makes him super cool to my boys, his character is what I pray they emulate. I cannot wait to watch him sling a ball against my Bama boys in a Clemson vs. UA re-match (I will get a ticket to that), but I would be honored to pass up the ticket for the opportunity to know this unicorn-rare young man.

It’s always exciting when a star rises from your little corner of the globe, but how peculiar it is when it shines on all of those around it.

You are peculiar; that you should proclaim the praises of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.. 1 Peter 2:9

 

 

You’re Not Special…and that’s okay.

I have a mountain of bedding to wash…again. My #4 wears diapers at night…still (where am I going wrong in my potty parenting?!!)😔. And the past week and some change she has been well hydrated during the day (Go Mom!! – I’ll take my back pats where I can get them 😁) & is peeing right through said diapers. (You should hear Gabe’s theory on this, it is amazing…& of course, not at all Bethany’s fault) 😊. So there has been no hope of catching up on laundry…none.

And all that being said…and with a big cushy mountain of laundry preventing the laundry room door from closing, I am thankful.

Thankful that we had #4. Thankful that I never gave up on praying for her, & thankful that the Holy Spirit did His part and worked on areas that I couldn’t. Thankful that I didn’t listen to the world’s opinion that we “already had too many”. (Apparently my not going with the crowd and persistence in that season of my life are the two ingredients God used to build her from….she is her own & she is quietly persistent.) I am grateful to have had a longer season in the little years than would have been…and because I know that one day #4’s mattress will not be a strange mixture of urine and baking soda but a pristine white like the other 3, I smile at the pile, press start on the drier, and Praise Him.

That was my Facebook post one day in November. Today, I went to an awards day ceremony for this child of mine. She received the grow award. It is basically the Most Improved award for reading. She has been a late bloomer in this area. She began kindergarten not knowing all of her letters and no where close to reading. Several weeks in, that was still the case. People think it is because I did not try…she is number four after all. And while as a mother it is easier, and maybe even comforting, to go along with that, it wasn’t entirely the truth. We sang “A, B, C, D, E, F,G” as diligently as I had with the others…and they sang with her. I tried identification games, and “Teaching Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons” (it had after all worked in varying degrees with the other three), and I even bought educational DVDs and CDs (which I had not done for the others) and had the older ones participate to encourage her. All to no avail. The difference with numbers 1-3 and number 4 was that due to her lack of interest and progress, I let it go. Whether because of not wanting to or not getting it, and I oscillated on my opinion, the child would simply say, “I do not want to read. I want to be your baby.” And there really was no progress to be made from there.

I have just completed a book entitled You Are Not Special. I even checked the audio book out from the library and listened to it…some things need to be allowed to seep in. (When Gabe saw the title of my audio book he said in his best fatherly voice, “What is this that you are listening to? I need to know why you are listening to this.” With much disapproval in his voice. I appreciate and laugh at his pure belief at this stage in his life that I am indeed special.) It started out as a commencement address to a group of graduating seniors.

It has much wisdom, wisdom that these days is unconventional. And while there are beliefs in which we differ, most of which stem from his seeming to be an agnostic and I believe in God, he uncovers what I believe has set so many up for failure and disappointment. We are not in fact all special! I began noticing this as a teenager I guess. People would tell you that you are special, and then they would tell 30 other kids that they were special. People would address entire crowds of teens at conferences and say, “You are all special.” Maybe most believed, I can not say. It made me stop believing. I stopped believing in awards or accolades I received, and if you gave me a compliment, it took a lot of repetition or action to back it up for me to believe you. This was an under the surface thing, I do not think many were aware of this inward cynicism. But as I teacher I saw it in my students. They would drop certificates and awards in the trash and when “elite opportunities” called to them, they too would fill my trash can with a variation of this comment, “It’s nothing special. Everyone gets it.” They aren’t entirely convinced either.

It also created quite an expectation. An expectation that at this point in my life has been more of a drowning weight than a gift. I needed to live up to the title.  But as you’ve seen, my current season has been anything but special. Today a friend mentioned that their battle with this new wave of depression may be a result of their life not being what they or anyone else would have envisioned for them. And I had an “ah-ha” moment. That was also something I struggle with.

The truth is….the truth that is going to sound harsh and unkind, but that is really like taking a weight off…we are not all special. By very definition of the word, if we were all special we would immediately be un-special because we all were. Looking at the bell curve, “special” is what lies far left or far right. Most of us are in the middle. And average is good. Average is necessary. We create the “special”. Without the swarms of us, you cannot know who is special nor can you be special.

Wanna know something else? Life is easier for the average. The world caters to the masses. The greater portion of the populace are righties, the special lefties have a harder time finding ball gloves, golf clubs, scissors, and neat hand writing (hehe). The greater portion of the populace is of similar intelligence…those far above or below struggle to find friends “like them”, exist in an educational system that may or may not offer them support but as a whole does not fit, and struggle to work their way into the bell curve at all costs or are hurt by feeling like an outcast and become hard toward the group of averages that made them different.

My life is average. It has some great ups, and it has some pretty yucky downs. I still have a child that wets the bed from time-to-time at night (and my youngest is 6!! Major potty training fail.), my kitchen is currently a mess and the floors (again) need sweeping, my curves are a bit more abundant than I would like, my bank account more sparse, and today a school celebrated (and I sighed with relief) because my six-year-old finally hit a point where I can rest in the hope that she will one day be literate. And it is okay that she fell somewhere in the bell curve of average (although on this one it may be closer to the left side).

I have noticed in the eyes of my eldest the same questioning doubt I felt at his age when I tell him he is special. And lest he begin to doubt any of his accomplishments, I have to clarify. You, dear one, fall inside the bell curve most everywhere. You are blissfully average. And because the areas you fall a little above the bell curve on have taught me how unwelcoming and unprepared a world can be toward “special”, I am SO grateful for your overall averageness. UNICEF estimates that 359,000 other babies were born on your exact birthday…I am afraid your birthday doesn’t even make you special. But, you were the only child born to me on that day. The only first-born I will ever have. In you I have invested many prayers and in you is carried my legacy. You get to decide the outcome of those prayers and the shape of that legacy…

And today I feel lighter knowing that I gleefully swim with the masses within the bell curve. At no point in my life and in no way that I know of do I ever escape it…and I am so glad. I am the first-born of my parents, the first grandchild born to my grandfather. In me they have invested many prayers and in me is a portion of their legacy carried. That is a special I can carry without being weighed down. A special that causes me to hold my head high and smile, and it puts a skip back into my step. That’s a special I can live up to and a special that has room for flaws.

If you are a parent or an educator or a grandparent or hold influence over the lives of young people, this book is worth your time. As I said before, there will be things you will throw out, but the value of what is revealed when the veil of “special” is removed will possibly rescue a generation.